WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR MUM GETS TOO INVOLVED IN WEDDING PLANNING

Mothers trying to get too involved in their daughter’s or son’s wedding planning is nothing new. It has been happening for quite some time now. In fact, in the past, a mother’s traditional role was to plan her daughter’s wedding. But in recent years, what’s supposed to be lovely right might turn into a sad moment.

Photo by Miguel Angel Muniesa

In our world today, money equals power. So, if your mum is paying for almost everything, she might feel compelled to make all the decisions. But if that is not the case, then she’s simply excited about planning the wedding she wanted but never had.

It is totally ok to get wedding planning advice from your mum – at least to an extent. It gets dangerous when she goes beyond being just helpful. Most parents get too much involved in their children’s lives. This is ultimately out of love. They equally want them to get what they believe is best.

However, your mum may have overstepped her boundaries if she tells you what exactly to wear or how to style your hair. Do not sit back and cross your arms when you feel this is turning into a one-woman (your mother’s) show.

Make Your Mum to Understand It’s Your wedding and You Have the Final Say

Make this clear to your mother as soon as she picks up the tab for the day. She might pay for everything, but you both need to decide on who has the final say. Do not be harsh! Do it with love so you shouldn’t hurt her feelings. Yes, it is not her wedding, but it’s also a great day in her life. Her little angel is getting married. She is as excited as you are. Please do not spoil the vibe; let her know her opinion counts.

Ask Her to Change Her Language

When you get your mum asking what and how she wants your wedding to be, ask her to change her language. When she makes use of “I” instead of “we,” let her know it is all about you and your partner and not her. Tell her in the nicest of ways. She’s probably not aware she’s focusing more on what she ones rather than what you like.

Pause with The Planning for A While and Have A Mother and Child Moment

It takes a lot to get your mum to step back from the wedding planning. For you to succeed, plan an outing even if it’s just for a day and have fun together. Talk to your mum, agree on the said day, have fun and forget about the wedding for a bit.

Have an Honest Conversation

Have a heart-to-heart conversation with your mother if everything else fails. Carefully think about what you’ll say. Make sure you do not talk rudely. Do not let anger take hold of you. Put yourself in her place before you say anything. Most importantly, stay away from blame. With love and compassion, you’ll get to the bottom of this.

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